It seems like every few months there is a new burst of debate on the interwebs about "having it all." Struggling to find a comfortable work-life balance is hard. I am in the midst of my own personal debate on this issue, and seeking to find a satisfactory answer. One of my biggest fears is that there isn't one.
I have three main facets to my life right now, each of which I would gladly devote more of my time to. I'm a person, I'm an educator, and I'm a scientist. I have recently shifted jobs, and have spent the last three months trying to nail down a routine that will allow me to be successful and happy with myself in regard to those three facets. However, I find that no matter how I juggle my schedule or shift my focus, I'm not where I want to be in any of those areas. It's like the grad school mantra revised: life, teaching, research - pick two. (For reference, the grad school saying is "Friends, food, sleep - pick two." At least I've upgraded.)
Only how could I pick two? I love all three! They each contribute a major factor toward making me who I am. But to actually be happy with any of them, I really need to focus more time and energy in that area. Am I content to be okay at three things? Do I need to be awesome at each of them? How much do I need all three? I'm not even sure exactly where I do feel like I should be in each respect.
I postulated this existential crisis to a friend who asked, "Why is each important to you?" I just sat in silence thinking "Well, obviously, because they are." Then I realized maybe I really do need to formulate the answer to that question in order to balance what is most important. Seems obvious, I guess, but each of the three facets just seem so natural to me that I hadn't even stopped to think why it is each one is important and what need it fulfills. Why is it I fight so hard for my personal life, my teaching, and my research? Can I be okay doing it all, even if that means not doing all of it to my fullest ability?
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